I really feel for you, especially to be so close to having surgery & hearing yourself up for that, but maybe for the best if he’s not confident at doing it!
I’m UK so can’t help with the insurance etc., but I know others have been able to send scan pics to some doctors & have phone consults. You can search through older discussions using the magnifying glass icon on the top right- I just had a quick look & found this discussion: Hoping for call backs from Dr
There is so much ignorance with doctors, even ones that seem to know more about ES- the consultant who diagnosed me said first of all that surgery wouldn’t be done unless I was suicidal with the pain; when things got worse & I had another appt. I asked for pain relief, & he said ‘why do you want that’? !!! I wouldn’t have trusted him with my surgery anyway, he didn’t believe that the styloid processes could compress blood vessels & I had bilateral jugular compression! Luckily I was able to find an experienced surgeon through this site, & he was glad to refer me to get rid of me!
I hope knowing that you’re not alone helps, & glad that you have a good friend with you on this journey. Hope that you’re able to find someone more confident to do surgery. Best wishes, sending you a hug! 