Hi Flatterfeet,
I’m so sorry for the way the ENT you saw treated you. She is obviously ignorant of the multitudinous symptoms that ES can cause. The styloids cannot always be felt in the throat when it’s palpated but the fact you have additional pain after her probing around is a good indicator that your styloid(s) is/are elongated.
You’ve made a good observation about where to find doctors who are familiar with ES & can help you. Dr. Hackman at UNC has done ES surgery for a number of our members with mostly good outcomes. Here is the link to the US Doctors’ List we maintain:
https://forum.livingwitheagle.org/t/us-doctors-familiar-with-es-current-list/4752
I hope you find a more knowledgeable doctor soon! Good for you for self-advocating but I am sorry you’ve got other serious health challenges that have required that process as well.