@Soph1 
EXCELLENT JOB with the self-advocacy! Your doctor needs to learn a bit more about ES. Our youngest member was 8 years old when his symptoms started. It took 4 years & travels all over the US for him to get diagnosed & even then, his styloids were only 3 cm which in some doctors’ minds in normal length. His mother advocated for him suggesting that in a 12 year old, 3 cm styloids would be elongated & thus causing his symptoms. He had both removed & had great reduction in symptoms.
The definitions @TML gave you for elongated styloids vs calcified stylohyoid ligaments is correct and I will add, that in a smaller person, elongation, angle, curve, etc. can be less & cause symptoms than in a very tall person because of neck length & physical layout of nerves & vascular tissues.
Nerve compression can only be seen via FIESTA or CISS MRI scans & the machines w/ one or the other of those programs are few & far between so very few of our members have bothered to try to get a look at their nerves. We can usually make an educated guess about which nerves are suffering based on the symptoms present w/ the elongated styloids.
Here’s a post made by @Jules which will answer any questions you have about symptoms:
It’s important to know whether you have any vascular compression or not as it does make a difference in which doctor you will want to pursue for surgery when you decide it’s time for that, thus uploading your imaging here would allow us to help you be more informed. If/when you do upload imaging, please be sure to delete or cover any personal info that’s on the images you post.