Opt, sorry to hear you are having a horrible bad day. I don’t know the irish system but does your system or employer have no short-term disability type program you can take advantage of so you can take a leave of absence from job? I am assuming not, otherwise you might have done it already.
Yep any docs would think we are crazy to speak of all these symptoms. Than k god we have each other to share and compare so we dont get put in a padded cell. 
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Four years ago I had a life changing accident and still am recovering
The femur was shattered and fragmented
The right side of my foot hit me in the side of the head as the femur was so badly broken
Gas and morphine did nothing
Agony it was
I lost a good job and had to freeze the mortgage for a year
Learnt to walk again
Pain was like you couldn’t imagine , had to have 2 1/2 pints of blood
Seven hour surgery and the next day they forced me to limp to the toilet
I did not sleep for three months due to pain
I know what pain is , I’m back racing and nothing is going to change who I am
But I can’t put the mortgage on hold a second time or lose another job
Social security payments aren’t great
I have to keep going like before
Still doing physio with the leg and surgeon thinks I am a model patient who pushed himself beyond what was normal to achieve a positive result that no dr thought I would
I can do it again it it wasn’t too soon
I have the ongoing femur rehab and problems and now ES
I’m tough but…
I have two large rods of titanium holding me up
I’m overwhelmed with pain and am struggling with a desire to seek out illegal substances to escape the body
I broke left ankle twice,7 ribs, left wrist
Shoulder blade,pelvis, nose,3 toes a finger and ripped a shoulder from its socket , popped it back in and rode a motorcycle home
Es is the icing on the cake of pain
I was shot twice by flying shrapnel from shattered chisels into the stomach and arm
Chopped the end of a finger off
First ride on a motorcycle I hit a wall snapping both front teeth
I need a break from pain
Livingwitheagle.org has been a great help
I was beaten up and had the stomach kicked in whilst unconscious which caused stomach trouble
My nine life’s are running out
I only want a few normal years where I don’t get hurt or have a syndrome or some other medical problems
Why do I suffer so much?
And then I look around and see every one suffering
I was homeless after a bad crash , lost another year of my life and lost a job and a flat
The only friend to take me in 2 1/2 decades ago is the woman I’m still with today
I’m waffling but that is the Valium I’m not sure
I have to harder now then ever I guess
Hey optimistic -
You are here today by sheer strength of will & the miracles of modern medicine. You do need a break from pain but perhaps you also need to give your body a break by slowing down a bit. 
(I’m considering taking my own advice here as well).
I read once that people who are thrill seekers have visible differences in their brains from non-thrill seekers. I know it’s who you are, but some of what you do is taking a toll on you that has left you in a world of hurt. Here’s a link to an article you may find interesting.
I have nothing but respect for your partner. She’s been through a lot with you & has chosen to stay put. That’s true devotion, friendship & love. God bless her!
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optimistic, sounds like you need to get out of your own head for a while. In the US they started approving iv ketamine therapy for chronic pain, I’ve heard mostly good things about it.
Hearing your story I can see why you are in a battle with your body.
Pharmaceuticals can help, it takes a lot of time and patience to dial in the perfect mixture of pain and relief from it.
Are you taking anything daily that can relieve pain for at least a few hours?
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I can buy black market ketamine but my GP tells me not to
Valium is what she gave we and I sleep well for five hours and feel fine after but adrenaline is the only way to be pain free
Isaiah the article about thrill seekers sums up my situation, I used to parachute, I kayak , but at 53 now I’m waiting for a penny to drop that will say no more
I believe I will wake up one morning and say this is too risky
I’m going to collect stamps instead!
I don’t think or feel ES when I ‘m flat out riding, nothing hurts, I drop paracetamol/ anti-inflammatory tablets and go
And my riding has never been as good
Sigmet25 I think I will seek out some pain management and see what options I have
Anger is another way to combat frustration through pain
Giving up motorcycles😭
Maybe you don’t have to give up motorcycles. Just use them on the road as transportation rather than on trails where you can go crazy w/ how you ride. Learning to be moderate is tough when we’ve always been extreme…
Also, I think anger is more a consequence of combatting relentless pain, but in the long run, it makes things worse because anger makes muscles tense up, adrenalin flare (yes, you said this helps you), but those two things alone cause more inflammation & ultimately more pain in the aftermath.
We rode from Ireland through France to the Pyrenees last year, is very much similar, still fuelled on adrenaline
I think I need to have a private consultation regarding medication prescription and find a balance between pain relief and being able to work sleep and function as normally as I can
Amitriptyline is definitely off the menu
Reading others post about post op pain I knew there is a different pain on the horizon
I hate to admit t but I can’t carry on without pharmaceutical intervention
Again thanks for the advice and input
optimistic, I’ve been through something similar. I was training BJJ and muay thai daily, rough, brutal training. Then I would go to work and keep airborne jet aircraft from crashing into each other. Tons of adrenaline, loved it and needed it, still do.
Doctors think the ES is related to repeated throat trauma from jiu jitsu, since I’ve been choked thousands of times more than your average person. Im lucky I didn’t drop dead while I was training. A lot of the pain I was getting was from my carotid being compressed against the styloid process.
I take nsaids daily, for about the last 6 years. I dont like benzodiazepines like valium, well, I don’t like being addicted to them. If you take them regularly and stop it can cause seizures and all kinds of mental issues and misery. Opiates work good to kill pain but I only get one chance a day to take them, any more and they are useless. Some people take them first thing in the morning, afternoon and evening, I can’t.
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Total respect for what you’ve been through & you’re still standing!
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Forgot to say your leg pics are impressive! WOW! What an ordeal!! Sorry that happened to you yet look at how you’ve pushed on. You’re an inspiration to me!
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Inspire you not to break a femur
I suffer today considerably, I am going away for a while to lick my wounds and try to get on with it
I’m not the only one suffering, is nice to know others have something similar and that makes me feel a bit more ‘ normal?’
My scan cd arrived at Cork hospital and they couldn’t read it as it was cracked
Well it would be wouldn’t it
Had to order another one
Take as long as you want if it does pop up and push through again then I will definitely pull it out!!
So sorry there’s another delay…hope that you hear better news from them soon…
I hope they send the next one better wrapped & by expedited shipping. They owe it to you to get it there FAST!!
Going away for a bit might be the best possible thing you could do. Removing yourself from your current stressful environment for a day or two would give your body a chance to relax a bit. I hope that’s the case anyway.