I feel for you, it’s quite a dilemma! I’ve never had kidney stones but know they are really painful, so I feel for you & hope that they pass quickly!
Firstly, re the pains you’ve had on the surgery side, 3 months is still early days for healing really, so it’s possible to still have flare-ups, and random pains etc. It could be that you’ve overdone things a little & aggravated the nerves again, and also as they heal you can get strange sensations- itching, tingling shooting pains etc.
As for the right side- you know from before that pain can come & go, so although it’s settled at the moment, it could well flare up again & as you say, you could then have a long wait for surgery. It’s also possible to get cross-over pain, so who knows, it could be aggravating your surgery side! Equally, if you had surgery on the right then it could irritate things on the left a bit as your neck adjusts, so if you do have a second surgery be prepared for that. As you have such extensive calcification, nobody can say for sure, but if you’ve already had symptoms I would think that they’d be unlikely to suddenly disappear forever…Whether you have the egg retrieval done first or the surgery only you can decide, it’s a difficult decision.
Re the tightness & swelling where the incision is, there are several discussions about massage of the scar & healing, so have a look through if you have time; here’s a couple of recent ones:
Post op incision care recommendation to others - General - Living with Eagle
Novafon, sound wave self-massaging device - Symptoms and Treatments - Living with Eagle
Food for thought? Will pray that you kidney stones improve soon & that you make the best decisions for you, sending you a hug 
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