I’m so sorry that you & your wife have been affected so badly because of your symptoms- sadly many ES patients have been dismissed with anxiety so you’re not the only one…
It does sound like vascular ES, the dropping feeling , off-balance , head pressure are all symptoms I had from Internal Jugular Vein compression; this causes increased pressure inside the head (Intracranial Hypertension) which is horrible. You describe wet wax coming from your ear- sometimes with the increased pressure it can cause a leak of CSF (the cushioning fluid around the brain), I wonder if you have had that? But it would only happen if your ear drum isn’t intact…Runny fluid can leak out of your nose too. A CT scan with contrast would show if there is any compression on the blood vessels, not sure if you’d be able to get that done?
Lots of members have had sinus issues too, but we’re not sure why…
The common symptoms & possible explanations discussion I sent you a link to explains the different nerves involved if you’ve not had a chance to read that, & there’s also ‘2 Minute Neuroscience’ videos on YouTube which explain the cranial nerves, different ones for each nerve…
@BraveKat has posted about navigating the NZ system but does have private health insurance, here’s a link, sorry if I sent you this already:
New member from NZ - Welcome / Newbies Guide to Eagle Syndrome - Living with Eagle
As for what to do next, as there aren’t many options in NZ, if there are any skull base/ otolaryngologists in your area, or a head and neck cancer surgeon, or a head and neck neurovascular surgeon, would you be able to look into that & get a referral to someone? If the Hamilton doctor doesn’t come through for you obviously, that doesn’t sound very hopeful…
I’m so sorry that you’re having to negotiate the healthcare system too, I’m UK & ours isn’t much better, and the Canadians have equal trouble too. Sending you & your wife a hug 
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