Anyone here needs a laugh ? helps with ES and everything else treatment

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (“P”) and solutions recorded (“S”) by maintenance engineers:

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

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Thank you! I laughed till I cried! Really!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: This was such an amazing read!

Laughter is so healing. As a matter of fact, a book called something like Laughter the Best Medicine was written in the 1960s. The author was a man who was bedridden with some incurable, undefined illness. He decided to try healing himself by laughing, so he read funny books & watched funny movies & made himself laugh a lot, and over time, Guess What!?! He got better! Laughter may not work to cure everything, but it sure lightens the load when things seem bleak.

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Thank you, that was brilliant! :joy:

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This is just what I needed!! Thank you so very much for sharing.

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:sun_with_face: :+1: :pray: :sunflower: :butterfly: