Hi Hurting,
I like to pray for people on the site; obviously not everyone is Christian, but often people are comforted and encouraged to know that we're praying for them, thinking of them and encouraging them. I hope too that people aren't offended by this, in the same way that if people haven't had such good results from surgery that they wouldn't be upset when others come on singing the praises of possibly the same doctors they were treated by.
I totally agree with the above post, but I can totally see why it might be hard to imagine a loving God when in the middle of this pain- why would He allow this? (and all the other awful things going on in the world). I believe that what happens isn't God's will, but that He can use it for good. I have found my faith has grown as I've needed God so much, those Bible verses have encouraged me when I've been in pain, unable to sleep and anxious for the future. I've also become much more aware of how hard constant pain is to deal with, so am a much more compassionate person now, so although I wouldn't have wanted to go through this, I can see that I've grown from it.
Your questions are ones we've all probably considered- I've just read Philip Yancey's excellent book 'Reaching For The Invisible God'; he calls it 'the encyclopaedia of theological ignorance', that us, as time-bound people living on a rebellious planet, blind to the realities of an unseen world, haven't the ability to comprehend such answers. Faith is trusting God's goodness and love even when the apparent evidence is against it. Like you would trust a really good friend, if it appeared that they'd let you down, and look for other explanations.
We don't know why God doesn't answer prayers at times; why did he heal my Dad's cancer, when at 70 he'd had a good life, but not heal my friend's cancer, when she was only 41 and had young children? All I know is that Clare turned to God in her last days, after rejecting Him for many years, and died with a big smile on her face (according to her unbelieving husband). As Simon Peter said in John 6:68: 'Lord, to whom would we go?'. If not hope in Jesus, and a better life than this, what else is there?
I don't know how you're getting on with your ES, but I hope that you can get some help for your pain, whether that be a different medication or surgery. Whatever our religious beliefs, at least on here we all understand each others pain, and it's good to be able to rant, and to help each other.
