Support groups and forums are very important. Family and friends mean well, but if they haven’t gone through a similar crisis, how they think they should help actually makes things worse. As a caregiver to my parents, I learned about Ring Theory - Comfort In, Dump Out. I hope this helps:
Thanks Siren, it’s very thought provoking!
What a great article! Definitely food for thought & a good practice going forward. Thank you for sharing this Siren
I love this! I try so hard to keep my crisis to myself because like so many, have heard all the derogatory and hurtful comments from those who think they’re helping. We become so much more in tune with how we respond to others when we’ve experienced the “Dump In” perspective.
Thank you for sharing!
Thanks so much for sharing! I wish more people understood this. Sadly, we have even family members who just really don’t get it. Unfortunately, we have also lost friends who just couldn’t handle “our drama” or thought it was all “in our heads” or possibly even that I had Munchausen’s! Our poor daughter has suffer from age 12 to now 19. She’s been robbed due to ES and multiple other diagnoses. Thanks to everyone here for all your support!!!
There were a lot of issues building already in this friendship, but after dealing with parents passing away in 2016 & 2018 and then the throat/neck issues building up in 2019 without a diagnosis and then the pandemic hitting in 2020, I had enough with a friend and broke things off. It’s extremely rare for me to do so and I take friendship seriously, but I was finally at my wits end.
I’m sorry that happened @Siren! So hard losing good friends (or were they?!). I’ve been there & done that & it’s heartbreaking at the time but brings some relief later.
Right! It’s difficult to admit that it brought relief as I didn’t want to be “that person” however if it was toxic and wrecking my brain, it wasn’t worth it. Before I did the break up, I explained to myself that not all “friendships and relationships” are SUPPOSED last, and it’s okay to let go.
Good mindset. I have learned that some relationships are for a time & serve a purpose during that time, but later, they are no longer healthy. As you noted, when they become toxic, that’s not good for either party, so it’s time to let go. Good for you for being “that person” who knew it was time to cut it off. That speaks highly of you since that’s so hard to do.