Feels like I have been dragging a ball and chain around for decades, changed my job to ease physical strain on my body, cancelled appointment because I travelled to another country, then I caught covid, missing more appointments, and here I am, a few days and one orthopantomogram xray to go before I meet the ENT cancer surgeon.
What if my car breaks down? Shall I take the motorcycle? That may break down also, maybe I go down the previous night and sleep on a park bench, or sleep in the car
If I miss this then it will be 2035 before my next appointment
On one hand I am optimistic and really canât wait and on the other, not looking forward to it as it maybe another battle, I think maybe not go at all
The teeth that were removed because they were causing pain still hurtđ because it wasnât the teeth after all, makes me sad, and embarrassed as my mouth looks like a grave yard, head stones here and there, gone for no reason other than pulled facial nerves.
I hope its the beginning of the end, I hope if I do make it that at last I can have a date for surgery and we can agree to not go in and take out my tonsils.
Is a mile stone, and I would like to thank everyone for putting up with me thus far and for the support, its been like suspension, springs and shock absorber, made my journey a lot more comfortable so you all haveđ¤ yeah for suređ¤
Let me start by saying, âNO WHAT IFS!!â Take the vehicle that has been most reliable for you. Since you have a fairly long drive, you might consider going the night before to ease your stress if thereâs someplace you can stay for a reasonable rate besides in your car. If not, leave home a bit earlier than you think you need to on appt. day so you have some wiggle room (Gee, thanks, Mom⌠
).
With your history of disappointment at the hands of the medical professionals youâve seen, your apprehension is totally understandable. Do your best to politely stand your ground on Fri. Donât let anyone be dismissive of you, your symptoms or your need for this ordeal to have a finish line that you can see & actively run 
or ride 
toward.
You have been & will continue to be in my prayers. Please give us an update after your appointment.
Iâd go 2 days early & camp in the hospital grounds so youâre there in time 
Seriously, itâs been such a long wait for you, I hope that it does go & will be praying for an empathetic, knowledgeable doctor for you. Let us know how you get on, thinking of you.
Good luck Optimistic - hereâ to hoping smooth sailing and no motor trouble!! 
Thanks 
, I had better pack up my tent now and dispose my empty soup and Guinness cans
Iâm so hoping for a positive report!
Was a hardly a word spoken, only brief sentences, we have decided on scars around jaw line, and under ear, right one first, soon as he can, I was told its complicated procedure, which has its risks, and that all of my syndrome problems may not be cured.
Left one has an artery wrapped around it, comes in at 45â angle from the skull, and goes over, under and back down the neck at 45â angle.
Had a look at some photos of the procedure and 
! You are all very brave
I need to put so much effort into talking, and people canât understand what I say,
A good friend called, had to apologise for taking a call whilst eating toast.
âsorry if u canât understand me, I am eating toast!â
âThats Okay,â he saidâ after your operations you will sound like that all the time! 'ha ha.
What a fight and struggle it has been to get here.
Like I thought I would be happier
Is like going off on a road trip to somewhere you have waited all your life to visit
The car broke down so many times, that when you finally did arrive, and you were that drained, you were numbâŚI am numb.
I am going sea kayaking tomorrow in West Cork, out at sea, we will dine on seaweed that hides in a rocky bay.
Then into the pub for a pint of Murphys( Corks answer to Dublins Guinness)
Up the rebel county,!
A mackerel lunch and head home.
I am optimistic, that things canât get any worse than they are now.
NO WONDER you have had such AWFUL symptoms!! 
Iâve been on pins & needles waiting to hear about the outcome of your appointment. FINALLY! Youâre making forward progress. Iâm curious as to why he isnât taking the worst situation first or is the left only visually worse & the right is more symptomatic? At any rate, I hope his ASAP surgery schedule is like next week not next year 
Love your analogy about the road trip & car breaking down. Life certainly feels like that sometimes. Iâm so glad youâve made it to a significant milestone in your trip. Please let us know when you have your first surgery date.
I want to go on that kayaking trip! Last time I kayaked was 1985 - in Alaska. Salmon jumped over our kayaks, but we kept hoping some would jump in so we didnât have to eat the nasty freeze-dried food we had with us. We were out among the glaciers for 2 weeks. It was AWESOME!! I know tomorrow will be a nice change. Mackerel is tasty. Had some in a pub in the Lake District many years ago, but now I get it smoked in a tin - just not the same as fresh. Be safe, relax & enjoy yourself!
Iâm sure youâre exhausted with it all, no wonder youâre feeling numb. I hope that heâs able to do the surgery very soonâŚit does sound complicated & no wonder youâve had horrible symptoms. I hope youâve survived the kayakingâŚ
Opt,
I cant believe it has taken so long for you to see a doctor. What you have had to endure to get to this point has been pretty awful. They always say they cant guarantee 100% cure and remind you there are risks. It cant get much worseâŚit can only get better so nothing to lose by pushing forward and getting surgery ASAP. Do you have a date yet for surgery?
Surgery looks worse than it really is! You are a survivor, you will come out of this with flying colors and retrieve your life back. Maybe minus a few brain cells from all that Guinness and Murphyâs your drinking. 
